18th-23rd october

We are currently cruising at an altitude of 39,000 feet. If you look out of the window to your left you can see nothing, and if you look out the window to your right I am assured that you can see new zealand. We have been flying for almost 12 hours now, and still have another hour or so to go. It is still pitch black outside as we chase the moon, though i'm sure the sun will catch up with us soon. Bizarrely we've lost a day. We took off on the 23rd, but it's now the 25th. Surreal. The flight's not been too bad, I have watched several films. X-men 3 was okay. Nacho libre (jack black, spandex, wrestling) was abysmal. I may even have got an hour or two of sleep but that would be debatable. We're in auckland for five days until we pick up the van staying in the surf and snow hostel. Odd considering auckland doesn't have facilities for either surfing or skiing... Looks nice enough though. Hmm, air new zealand need more toilets on the plane. I only want to clean my teefs...

Anyway, a brief sequence of events of what kasey and codey (our california names) have been up to in our last few days in LA.

18th - left san diego. Cruised up to the southern reaches of the LA sprawl. It is incomprehensible in its size. If you took the ten biggest uk cities and put them together they probably would be swallowed up by LA with room to spare. It's about 70-80 miles across and maybe 40-50 in length. Anyway, we started at the bottom of orange county - home of The OC's newport beach, and, laguna beach. Laguna beach is clearly home to some money. Look at me, i'm rich! Nice beaches too. Newport beach was not the same as on tv. Whilst the houses on the hills were nice, the beach itself was your average california ramshackle beach community. Sorry OC fans. All the beach communities up the coast are nice. Only long beach was a bit tatty and industrial. It's on the southern end of the "south central" LA area, famous for its gangs. Windows up kasey (or joey)! From there it was more nice beaches to venice beach - our LA home...


The captain has just announced that there will be a delay to the landing due to a technical fault. Crap.


19th - we explored venice beach and santa monica. There are surfers around the pier, but the water is pretty grim. There is an awful lot of rubbish, yet the rest of the california coast is very clean. It's cool to see all these places that you've heard of in songs and tv - santa monica blvd, sunset strip etc. Cool...


20th - today was joey's day. We went to beverly hills. Rodeo drive and the lifestyles of the rich and famous. First stop hollywood though... A completely underwhelming area just west of downtown. Mann's chinese theatre, the walk of the stars, and, erm, er... Nothing. Nothing but tat merchants. Really really strange. Needless to say we didn't stay long.

Rodeo drive (why do they pronounce it row-day-o?). Now this looked exactly like it does on tv... Pretty woman... We window-shopped and generally brought down the tone. No celebs though. Kasey/joey was muy disappointed... She had secret hopes of meeting paris and nicole, and being invited to a hollywood party where she would steal the show... It wasn't to be.

On the way back to venice beach we stopped at santa monica state beach to play a spot of beach footie, or soccer as I now insist on calling it... Anyway, turns out the wife is pretty good for a girl. A wasted career perhaps? I've called the big clubs out to send a scout: Real, Barca, Brighton, Athletico Deckchair, Sweet FA etc.

In the evening we went for a few shandies in santa monica at the library alehouse where we got talking to the couple sitting next to us. They were from boston and had sold their business to move to LA so that she could be an actor (apparently actresses are so last year). It is true what they say - almost everyone in LA wants to be in front of the camera. As our new friend frank described it, all the good looking people across america move to LA to make it. All the waiters and waitresses are just on the verge of their big break. Even the barmaid (who to be fair new how to pour guinness) kept ranting on about her theatrical training. That's great love, but get me another pint and make it snappy.


21st - Why oh why oh why. I'm a relatively smart man. I have a-levels. GCSEs. I'm even a chartered certified accountant. Common sense and fair judgement. Not known for risk-taking or poor decisions. So why oh why oh why did I let joey talk me into rollerblading? Honestly. Hire a bike? Yep. A skateboard? Defo. A tandem even? Why not. But, why did I agree to roller blades (with a slight hangover)? Objection 1. I've ice-skated twice before in my life. In two one-hour sessions I probably spent a combined time of 3-4 minutes not on my arse or my knees. Why would roller blading be any different? Objection 2. It just doesn't look that macho and I, after all, am a macho-man. Firstly rollerblading in itself is a bit girly. Secondly, a man with no balance in normal shoes is guaranteed to look a tool trying to stay upright in those blade things. But, when in rome (or this case venice)... And so $5 an hour each was laid down and off we went. Anyway, it turned out that i'm a natural at accelerating. I was not, however, so naturally gifted at decelerating. There are two recognised methods of braking. Firstly, with the stopper conveniently attached to the heel of the right boot. Secondly, by pointing your toes inward - like skiing. Well, I have created a third method. You point your skates at the nearest fixed dustbin and close your eyes. It's not glamorous, and it does hurt, but it prevents further injury. It also encourages you to learn method one a bit quicker. We managed to get from venice pier to santa monica pier in one piece when we foolishly took the boots off to rest our feet. Foolishly? Yes. Once off, joey's boots wouldn't go back on. A one hour walk back carrying the buggers. And it had got hot.

In the evening we went to watch basketball - the LA Clippers vs the Seattle SuperSonics. Clippers won by 4 points. Good fun alround, and joey bought a souvenir t-shirt. Afterwards we checked out downtown santa monica's late night scene. Even at 11pm there were loads of street dancers, singers and musicians all trying to loosen the money out of our pockets and in to theirs... The most interesting guy was a religious man who was presenting a powerpoint slideshow and taking Q&A from the crowd. The mic was only available to non-christians, and the point was to ask him questions for him to convince you that his religion was right and everyone else was wrong. Unfortunately he was a bit too much of a fanatic and was not good at criticism. If he got a question he didn't like he would mute the microphone or shout over them. It was interesting, but the guy was too ignorant/closed to discuss anyone elses opinion. Even joey had a crack at him, but he denied that subjectivity could possibly exist (when translating the bible over thousands of years). If he was any good as a debater (regardless of the topic), then he should have accepted things like this as a risk to his belief.


22nd - the Lyn dynasty! Today we met the LA branch of the Lyn/Lim clan. Joey's great uncle patrick and his family (4 daughters) and her great aunt betty. For lunch we went to one of the four daughters in malibu (also called betty). Not only was betty's house in malibu, but it was two doors from anthony hopkins and opposite martin sheen's! Joey's eyes lit up! After a very pleasant lunch with both betties and Steve, we went for a stroll on malibu beach. Nice. Betty's son jonathan and his wife (also joey) led us to thousand oaks, where great uncle patrick and his family live, for dinner. Dinner was basically a great big chinese buffet cooked up by the lady of the house (great auntie shaoman) for about 15 lyns and 2 hills! All in all, very nice food and nice to meet some more of joey's family, who were all nice and made me feel very welcome indeed.


23rd - packed our bags and took off for the southern hemisphere... Went for one last stroll on a LA beach and realised that despite it being a grubby old town with a severe homeless problem, we quite like it...


That's all for now. I think I owe you a couple of wingwatches, both in san diego, so I'll rack my brains...


Joey's musings:- Well here we are in the city of sails AKA Auckland.....not at all like the city of sin AKA Las Vegas! We are feeling a little jaded after the rather lengthy flight from L.A but hopefully another good nights sleep will do the trick. On first impressions Auckland appears to be a lovely city with water all around it, nice fresh food, temperate climate......great if you like being fit and outdoorsey! Unlike us whose 2 months of glutony are catching up! Where's the Cold Stone Cremery, that's what I say! Lots of love, jo xxxx